The key to unlocking untapped potential is recognizing "wiggle words" (like "typically") as signs that a decision is not final, and using the word "because" to justify an exception.
Body language expert Janine Driver reveals that we often leave value on the table simply because we accept the first "no" we hear. She uses a brilliant metaphor involving a paper ketchup cup to explain how we can expand our potential.
4 Golden Insights
1. The Ketchup Cup Metaphor
Most people use those little paper ketchup cups folded up, holding only a small amount. But if you pull the folds open, they hold three times as much. Driver argues most people live life like the folded cup—using only a fraction of their potential. The goal is to identify the moments where you can "pull open the folds" to access the potential hidden in plain sight.
2. "Decided" is Not "Executed"
When a boss or partner says "we decided" (e.g., to not give you a raise), do not give up. "Decided" means the choice is in the reasoning stage—it is not an executed final action. There is still a chance to change the outcome by pushing the boundaries.
3. The Power of "Ly-Words"
Listen carefully for words ending in "ly": Typically, Normally, Usually.
These are "wiggle words." They signal a standard operating procedure, not a hard rule. They are a "2% open closet door" that you can push open to get what you want. If they say "We typically don't do that," they are admitting that sometimes, they do.
4. The Most Influential Word
The word "Because" is the tool that opens the "ketchup cup." It bridges the gap between the "wiggle word" and your desired result by providing a reason. It moves a decision from the reasoning stage to a new result.
"Before accepting a 'no,' ask yourself: 'If I don't fight for what I want right now, will this negatively affect someone else in my life?'"
— Janine Driver🍟 Actionable Takeaway
Listen for the Wiggle: In your next conversation, listen intently for the words "decided," "typically," "usually," or "normally." Immediately follow up with a request for an exception using the word "because" to justify why you should be the special case.
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